Catching up...
Whew!
These last three months have been among the worst I have experienced in my life. The constant pain that just hurt more and more really became debilitating to me. I found myself without the energy to interact with anybody.
Sundays were the hardest for me. I feel that God has given me the priviledge of working for Him, yet I did not have the energy required to perform the work required. I struggled each Sunday to pull together enough energy to do my job at church and talk with people...then I would come home and feel bad that I had nothing left for my family.
Many relationships have been under pressure during these last three months as well. I did not have the energy to talk to many people during the week or try and keep straight in my mind what was happening in their lives. Even my relationship with God has been strained these last three months as well. We have had times that I have been angry and frustrated with Him.
I say all this not as an excuse for anything that has happened, but rather as an explanation of where I have been recently. I have found myself unable to conjure the strength to take care of some things and for that I am sorry. There are some, including God, that I need to go to and apologize in person for my behavior. Some of them want to wave it off as being excused because of the pain but that doesn't work for me. I take responsibility for my actions--maybe I'm too stubborn of a person--and I will make apologies and accept repercussions where needed as well.
I am very happy to find myself digging out of this hole I have been in...now the repair work beings. Both on my back and in my relationships.
These last three months have been among the worst I have experienced in my life. The constant pain that just hurt more and more really became debilitating to me. I found myself without the energy to interact with anybody.
Sundays were the hardest for me. I feel that God has given me the priviledge of working for Him, yet I did not have the energy required to perform the work required. I struggled each Sunday to pull together enough energy to do my job at church and talk with people...then I would come home and feel bad that I had nothing left for my family.
Many relationships have been under pressure during these last three months as well. I did not have the energy to talk to many people during the week or try and keep straight in my mind what was happening in their lives. Even my relationship with God has been strained these last three months as well. We have had times that I have been angry and frustrated with Him.
I say all this not as an excuse for anything that has happened, but rather as an explanation of where I have been recently. I have found myself unable to conjure the strength to take care of some things and for that I am sorry. There are some, including God, that I need to go to and apologize in person for my behavior. Some of them want to wave it off as being excused because of the pain but that doesn't work for me. I take responsibility for my actions--maybe I'm too stubborn of a person--and I will make apologies and accept repercussions where needed as well.
I am very happy to find myself digging out of this hole I have been in...now the repair work beings. Both on my back and in my relationships.
posted by Pastor Tom at 1:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home