1 week 4 days
since my last post. Wow, that's a long time. It's not like I didn't have anything to say...I just keep running out of energy.
It's been an interesting journey learning about this chronic pain thing. At the start in February 2005 I just figured there was something weird with my back that would get fixed soon enough. Here I am in December 2006 and I'm beginning to understand that I am a chronic pain patient. It's hasn't been the fastest journey for me...I'm a bit too stubborn to accept this chronic pain diagnosis that quickly, but it appears to me now that I'm approaching the two year anniversary that this might be my opportunity.
One of the toughest things for me is my energy. I've always been able to do whatever I want and just keep pushing through whenever I needed to. Now when I do that I get really growly and nobody wants to be around me! So I've learned that I can't do everything I want to any more. I see it as a glass. It gets filled up when I'm not doing much...just laying around turning into a vegetable, but it gets drained as I spend time speaking with people or playing with my kids or just getting work done. There's some that needs to get used up during the week, but there is also some I need to save up for Sunday since that's pretty much my biggest day and requires the most energy from me.
I know some people have complained about my attitude on Sundays, and for that I apologize. I really do work hard to come into a Sunday with enough energy to get through the whole day without falling into my pit...heck, I usually give all my medication for the day to church as well! It's just sometimes I don't get to it in time and I find myself near the bottom of my glass...not a lot there left to pour out. And when that happens I tend to not be too much fun to be around. My friends all try to tell me it's okay and I'm just in pain, but I can't accept that. I believe we are all responsible for our actions, so even if I'm in pain, I need to treat people right and I cannot accept an excuse like my back hurts.
So that gets us to 11 days without blogging. It takes some energy to blog and get this stuff out. I enjoy it...it helps me straighten some thoughts out in my head and all, but it also takes some energy. Today I'm finding it is cold outside and I need some excuse to stay in for a bit and warm my hands up! So I figured I'd type something up for the blog, warm up the old paws and get back to it...so I'm back to it now.
It's been an interesting journey learning about this chronic pain thing. At the start in February 2005 I just figured there was something weird with my back that would get fixed soon enough. Here I am in December 2006 and I'm beginning to understand that I am a chronic pain patient. It's hasn't been the fastest journey for me...I'm a bit too stubborn to accept this chronic pain diagnosis that quickly, but it appears to me now that I'm approaching the two year anniversary that this might be my opportunity.
One of the toughest things for me is my energy. I've always been able to do whatever I want and just keep pushing through whenever I needed to. Now when I do that I get really growly and nobody wants to be around me! So I've learned that I can't do everything I want to any more. I see it as a glass. It gets filled up when I'm not doing much...just laying around turning into a vegetable, but it gets drained as I spend time speaking with people or playing with my kids or just getting work done. There's some that needs to get used up during the week, but there is also some I need to save up for Sunday since that's pretty much my biggest day and requires the most energy from me.
I know some people have complained about my attitude on Sundays, and for that I apologize. I really do work hard to come into a Sunday with enough energy to get through the whole day without falling into my pit...heck, I usually give all my medication for the day to church as well! It's just sometimes I don't get to it in time and I find myself near the bottom of my glass...not a lot there left to pour out. And when that happens I tend to not be too much fun to be around. My friends all try to tell me it's okay and I'm just in pain, but I can't accept that. I believe we are all responsible for our actions, so even if I'm in pain, I need to treat people right and I cannot accept an excuse like my back hurts.
So that gets us to 11 days without blogging. It takes some energy to blog and get this stuff out. I enjoy it...it helps me straighten some thoughts out in my head and all, but it also takes some energy. Today I'm finding it is cold outside and I need some excuse to stay in for a bit and warm my hands up! So I figured I'd type something up for the blog, warm up the old paws and get back to it...so I'm back to it now.
posted by Pastor Tom at 10:29 AM
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