One of the scariest things...

Let me give you a little insight to my life here. When I have the opportunity to preach on a Sunday, the message I put together definitely challenges me at least as much as it challenges anybody listening. That's right, I am sometimes frustrated and embarrassed as much as anybody that I am not doing what needs to be done...the difference is I then get to stand up in front of a couple hundred people and share that information.

The last time I talked was for Father's Day. This is an important topic to me. I don't think a lot of us guys are doing what we need to do to be fathers to our children. We are great at the donating DNA stage, but once that kid pops out, a lot of the time we want to move on with our lives while the child grows up with an absentee father. That was me, and I'm continuing to work to overcome some of that in me which is probably why I was so excited when I preached that message.

During the message I talked about our boys growing up to be men like we are and our girls growing up to marry men like we are. The first part really hit home just the other day to me.

One of the scariest things to me is when my mouth opens up and my father pops out. Oh, sure, when he was saying those things to me while I was younger I kept thinking

what an idiot...when will he get a clue

then my father's words come out of my mouth. And I'm standing there, talking to my kids with my father coming out. My brain jumps out of gear, slams into reverse without even grinding and I travel through the time machine and see myself in their shoes wondering when Dad will shut up so I can get back to my fun!

I know something scarier though...infinitely scarier. It's when your child starts talking like you. There you are sitting on the couch watching the tube sort of hearing noises from the kitchen when your wife and children are talking when there is a shocked

WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

and the child answers

Daddy said it

and you just know you are busted. This isn't just my wife is mad at me busted, but rather I really messed this one up busted. This is when you are embarrassed to be you. When your wife doesn't say a word, but makes that sound...sort of a sigh that was pushed out with a bit more air...humpf. And she walks away. And there you are, sitting on the couch, trying to come up with the scenario that caused you to say something your kids may have heard one time from you and now is a part of their daily speech.

Our children are not going to do what we tell them to...they are going to emulate what they see. You can talk the talk all you want, but do you walk the walk? They know the difference between authenticity and faking it and they don't respect you if there are words one day then you go out and do the opposite. Our jobs as fathers are not only when they are around, but we need to program ourselves to do the right thing when they aren't around so stuff doesn't jump out of our mouths at the wrong time...so we at not being hypocrites but rather doing what we say needs to be done.

Your own words coming out of your kids...that is the scariest thing.