Reflecting

I'm sitting in my home office working on my message for Father's Day and I'm struck with what a different person I am today than eight years ago when my first child was born and I became a father. I can tell you that some of my friends (who might be reading this right now) would stand up and testify that the furthest thing from their mind that I would become would be a devoted family man and point pastor at a church in the valley.

I was selfish.

I was power-hungry.

I worked hard to earn money.

My father taught me the value of hard work. I learned from him an excellent work ethic that has carried me far in my career as a software engineer for Novell. He tried to teach me there was so much more than just work, but that didn't take as well.

I can now look back over the last eight years and be proud of the person God has reached out and touched and made a difference in. Oh, I'm still bullheaded at times and it takes a bit to smack some sense in me. I still have my selfish, prideful moments when I'm tough to be around, but thankfully they are fewer and not as long. I'm grateful that I've not been given up on, but rather God has had extreme patience in working with me. Sometimes it is frustrating, but I do eventually learn.

I've learned that providing for my family financially is only a small part of what I'm here for.

I've learned that love involves self-sacrifice.

I've learned that people are worthy of being loved.

And I've learned that the greatest moments in life are not ones that are purchased with money, but rather they occur when people allow you to be a part of their lives when they are the most vulnerable and most hurting.

It has taken me a long time, but I have learned that pastoral care is not something that happens only on Sunday from 10:00 until 11:30, but first happens at home, then with your friends and at your job and all those you interact with. I have found that people are desperate for somebody to love them and listen to them rather than somebody who will jump in to fix things.

So as I reflect on where I have been and where I am today, it is my prayer that God does not stop his efforts with me, but rather continues to work on me...honing me...making me better...I look forward to seeing where I am eight years from now.